Am I Doing Enough?

The Secret Fear Parents Have About Baby Milestones

Let's talk for a moment—about that moment, when you're mindlessly scrolling through your feed, sipping cold coffee and, like, there it is: another milestone post. Someone's baby just turned over at exactly 4 months. Another noted that their baby is already babbling full sentences (okay, maybe just "mama," but still). And then, your heart jumps in your chest." You look over at your baby, still lounging like a potato, and the thought swims into your mind: Am I doing enough?

If you've felt this way, you're not the only one — and you're certainly not a bad mom. For every cute, polished milestone photo there's another mom who's grappled with the same anxiety. It is the sort of quiet anxiety we don't always vocalize: the fear that our baby is behind, that we missed something, that we somehow failed in this impossible, beautiful, overwhelming process of motherhood. And let's be honest—this fear doesn't just come by once. It lingers. It resurfaces each time another baby does something your baby has not yet done.

The Pressure to Meet Milestones "On Time" Is Real — and Unspeakable

Here's what is so sneaky about it: We are inundated with well-intentioned books, apps, even pediatrician handouts that outline all the stuff babies are "supposed" to do by certain ages. We first-time moms are especially attached to these, because we're all trying to get this thing right. We tell ourselves: If I do the right things, my baby will be fine, right? But babies don't bother reading the rulebook.

Let's not overlook the invisible competition — the moments of comparing notes at playgroups and in comment sections, when moms casually mention, "Oh, my baby was sitting at 5 months!" And now you are worried, even if you weren't worrying before. Because if their baby is sitting, crawling or cooing on cue… what does it mean if yours isn't?

The pressure rises, silently, but surely. We wonder, How much tummy time should I be doing? Should I talk to them more? Am I not providing them with enough stimulation? This is a ton of mental load to carry. And it's only exacerbated by the anxiety that our baby's progress somehow mirrors our value as mothers.

The Gluten-Free Diet: The Truth Assessment

Here's something we should be hearing more: milestones are meant to guide, not grade. They are average ranges — sample deadlines, not hard deadlines.

The American Academy of Pediatrics says there's a wide range of variation in the age at which babies hit certain milestones. Some key examples:

• Rolling Over: Between 4 and 6 months, but some babies take a lot longer, especially if they're chunkier or just don't care about rolling over yet.
• Sitting Unassisted: Generally between 5 to 8 month.
• Crawling: 6 to 10 months — and some don't crawl at all!
• Walking: Typically between 9 and 15 months, but some children walk well into toddlerhood.

These ranges exist because every baby is different. They grow at their own rate, shaped by personality, body type, environment and yes — just plain old timing.

"This is not competitive," says Dr. Laura Jana, a pediatrician and the author of Heading Home with Your Newborn. "It's a process with so many routes and timelines, and most babies arrive where they need to in their own time."

This isn't laziness or a lack of awareness — it's about realizing that nature doesn't stick to a calendar.

Why Mothers Think They're Failing—Even When They Aren't

The source of this anxiety often derives from love. We love our children more than anything. We want to give them all a fighting chance. But that love can turn to fear when we start to think we're not enough.

There's a cultural layer, too. Modern motherhood can feel like a high-stakes game with social media the scoreboard. We watch other moms "winning" at milestones; it's hard not to feel like we're lagging.

Couple that with a lack of honest conversations on how common developmental differences are, and it's no surprise we feel alone. But here's the thing: just because your baby is different, it doesn't mean they're behind. And you're not a bad mom for being worried. You're a good mom because you worry.

Finding Oneness in the Middle of Milestone Anxiety

Informed: Talk to Your Pediatrician — Not Google

If you're legitimately concerned, mention it at your baby's well-visit. Pediatricians train to spot actual signs of developmental delays and can help you feel confident when things are still in the "normal" range. Don't go down the rabbit hole of online forums (unless you're only seeking agreement).

It's Progress Over Perfection

Instead of worrying about what your baby "should" be doing, consider how they're developing. Are they making small steps? Are they learning new information, even gradually? Progress is progress.

Celebrate the Little Wins

Did your baby reach for a toy today? Smile at you longer? Gurgle a new sound? These are all wins. Milestones are not only the big, glamorous things.

Trust Your Intuition

You are your baby's expert. If something doesn't feel right, yes, check in. But if you suspect they're simply pacing themselves, trust your gut on that, too. Connection before comparison, always.

This Went Down, and I Was Not Prepared…

When my daughter was 7 months old, she was still not sitting on her own. Everyone around me would say, "Oh, she'll get there!" but I was panicking. I had an arsenal — more tummy time, supportive seats, a play gym I saw on Instagram. Nothing seemed to "work." Then one morning, I was upstairs folding laundry (and low-key crying about it) and she just sat up. Like, ta-da! No warning was given, nor any great revelation. Just… her own timing. And guess what? She's fine. Better than fine. She's thriving.

Be Real: You're Doing Enough

Mama, hear this: there's no prize for matching every milestone "on time" sick. There is profound joy in witnessing who your baby becomes, on their own time.

So the next time you feel that creeping in, take a deep breath and remind yourself: you're not behind, your baby's not behind, and you're both doing beautifully.

We got this. 💛