Am I Enough?

Coping With Milestone Anxiety And Having Faith That Your Baby Will Develop In Their Own Time

There's a moment that most of us don't discuss, but we feel it with us in the quiet hours. It sneaks in from after a pediatrician visit, or at 3 a.m. while rocking your little one to sleep again. Sometimes it sneaks up on you while scrolling through someone else's carefully curated life: Their baby is standing up and saying "Mama," while yours is still exploring the world from the floor, babbling sweet nothings. The question settles in, heavy and uninvited: "Am I enough for this baby?"

I've felt it as well — more than once. When my comadres baby flipped over at 10 weeks, as mine appeared perfectly happy to lie still a bit longer. When a well-meaning coworker asked why my son wasn't talking yet. It's not only about milestones — it's about what they mean to us as mothers. We don't just see a missed milestone; we see ourselves. Are we doing enough? Teaching enough? Loving enough? It's a fear that sneaks in while we don't realize we're even paying attention to our child's pace — and that fear is draining. But mi amor, let's pause for one moment and breathe through this together, because there's another way to view the path of your baby, and your own.

Milestone Anxiety: The Invisible Weight You Never Knew You Had

Milestone charts and checklists are supposed to guide, but instead, they often read like exams we didn't study for. And failing them? That feels personal.

From the moment we are born, we are given expectations: when we will smile, when we will sit, crawl, walk, talk. These benchmarks can turn into bars by which we measure ourselves. I've been in a lot of living rooms — my mother's, my sister's, my friend's — and heard the same hushed inquiries:

"Is it OK that she's not crawling yet?"
"Am I supposed to do more tummy time?"
"Should he be talking already?"

We're big on community in our culture, which is great, but can also mean a lot of voices, a lot of opinions. "When you were a baby…" or "My son did that at…" can cross over into the realm of judgment, even when it's spoken from a place of love.

But I'll remind you: milestones are guides, not grades. Your baby isn't broken. And neither are you.

The Truth About Baby Development (What the Charts Aren't Saying)

To ground ourselves in what we do know from both child development science and wise mamás:

• Development is not linear. Your baby might concentrate on one area (for example, motor skills) and let another (like speech) fade into the background — and that's normal.
• Each baby follows their own schedule. Some never crawl at all, going directly from sitting to walking. Some chatter incessantly before they say real words. Some watch silently before plunging in.
• Secure attachment trumps all of the milestones. Psychologists like Kate M. Cronin, a psychologist at the University of New Hampshire, agree that a baby's attachment to their caregiver — the feeling of being seen, soothed and safe — is the greatest influence on healthy growth.

What's at the Root of Milestone Anxiety?

It's not simply a matter of hitting or missing milestones. It's about our wish to do right by our children. To not let them down. American Academy of Pediatrics Staff137 People Were Lost to Gun Violence a Day. But here is what I have learned:

You already are.

Rocking your baby to sleep, singing that same lullaby for the tenth time, sitting with them through their tears — all these things are nourishment for their developing brain, and their spirit, too.

When to Hold Off, When to Move (Without Panic)

It's fine to have concerns — it's how you're a thoughtful parent. Here's how to navigate them confidently:

Know the Ranges

Milestones sometimes have a range. Walking widowhood can occur between the ages of 9 to 18 months. First words might appear around 10 to 15 months, or beyond. Look for progress, not perfection.

Look For Patterns, Not Just Moments

One "off" day isn't a warning sign. Analyze trends over weeks, not hours. Is your baby discovering their world? Are they responding to sounds and faces, touch?

Trust Your Gut, Speak to Your Doc

If something doesn't really seem right, you're your baby's best advocate. Bring it up. But don't forget: Asking questions is a strength, not a weakness.

How Early Support Empowers Rather Than Shames

Sometimes, a bit of assistance — speech therapy, physical therapy — can have a huge effect. It does not mean you've done anything wrong. It means you're being present, no matter what.

Enjoying The Story Of Your Baby

Let's reclaim the narrative. What if we marveled at the moments we do have, instead of worrying about when our babies will hit the next milestone?

• The giggle when you peekaboo for the one hundredth time.
• The way they reach for you knowing you're their safe place.
• Their awe at the world, as it is, right now.

Your baby has no concept of what they're "supposed" to be doing more of. They just know they're loved. And with that love, they grow, become, thrive — in their own time.

A Heartfelt Reminder for the Road Forward

In my family we always, say "El amor todo lo puede." Love can do anything.

So, I want to leave you with this:

You do not define your baby's milestones. You are their mother. Their home. Their everything.

You are sufficient, right now, as you are. 🌸

Continue on this journey, with grace and fortitude. Your baby is exactly where they should be. And so are you.