Stop Comparing Milestones

Why Your Baby's Timeline Is Perfectly Normal

Let's Be Real—We've All Been There 🍼

I can take a wild guess: You're standing in your kitchen, reheating the same cup of coffee for the third time, and your baby is laying on the play mat, staring, happily, at the ceiling fan. You're scrolling through your phone, and boom — it pops up. Mom in your Facebook group just shared a video of her 6-month-old pushing up to stand, and all of a sudden your heart drops. "Wait… is my baby supposed to be doing that?"

This, my friend, is the onset of what I like to refer to as Milestone Anxiety, and if you've spiraled into this, you are not at all alone. Every parent — yes, every last one — has fretted about whether their baby is developing "on time." We secretly fixate on when they are supposed to roll, sit, crawl, babble, sleep through the night, eat solids, grow teeth, the list goes on and on, only to be emotionally drained by it. And let's be honest, we aren't comparing our babies to some textbook chart, we're comparing them to other babies we see online, in our mom groups, or even in the pediatrician's office. It's no wonder that so many of us are feeling like we're somehow failing when really, we're just playing a completely unrealistic game of "keeping up."

How Milestone Comparison Hits So Close to Home

Why it stings so much: if your baby isn't doing what their baby is doing, it's not just a commentary on your baby, it's also a commentary on you. As if perhaps you overlooked something. Perhaps you didn't do enough tummy time, or you didn't hold them enough (spoiler: you did not). Perhaps your baby would be "ahead" also if you purchased that impressive toy or attempted that sleep training technique. And, being human, we start searching for answers — hello, Reddit rabbit hole — and before you know it you're deep in a quagmire of anxious posts and conflicting advice, questioning whether something is amiss.

Let me stop you right there. Your baby is not broken. You are not broken. Babies develop at their own pace, and while milestones are good guideposts, they are not ironclad rules. Pediatricians use milestones as general signposts, not panic buttons. The truth? Most babies are going to hit those big milestones — sitting, crawling, walking, talking — within a fairly broad time frame, and being a few weeks or even months "late" does not necessarily mean there is anything wrong.

What Milestones Really Mean (And Don't Mean)

Let's make something clear: milestones are averages, not ultimatums. You can think of them like traffic patterns. If most people hit a certain point in their commute 30 minutes in, that doesn't mean you're behind if it takes you 40. It's still normal. Some babies crawl at 6 months and some at 10. Some walk at 9 months, others near 18. Both are completely normal.

And here's a surprise ending: some babies miss milestones entirely. Yep, some skip crawl entirely and go straight to walking. Some babble incessantly, while others silently watch the world go by before they suddenly start spitting full sentences overnight. Development isn't a straight road — it's more of a complex, beautiful tapestry of advancement, stalls and surprises.

The Invisible Mental Load of "Milestone Tracking"

So now, let's address the mental load. As if we didn't have enough to do — feeding, diapering, soothing, surviving — now we're supposed to log every little movement as if we're drafting a baby résumé? No thanks. Having to constantly fret, however, whether or not your LO's "on track" is tiring, and sucks the joy from those ordinary moments.

Here's a controversial perspective: Not everything should be measured. Your baby's giggles, your baby's fingers gripping your own, the sound of your baby's coos — those matter, too. And no, you don't need an app or a chart to confirm that your baby is thriving.

Real Mom Moments: Freaking Out Over Milestones

If I may share a quick story: My first real milestone panic struck when my baby was about 7 months old and still couldn't sit up unassisted. Every child of my friends who was near me started doing it, and I spiraled. I tried everything: propping, practicing, googling, but she simply wasn't having it. I recall crying in the car after yet another "helpful" remark from a friend. Turns out? A few weeks later, she sat herself up, like it was no thing. And now she's running around like a maniac, and I can't even think why I was so stressed. That moment was a lesson: Babies do not adhere to our plans, and they never will.

What You Can Do (Beyond Worrying)

So if you're feeling the pressure, here's what helped me stop the milestone madness:

• Consult your pediatrician — not strangers online. Seriously. They know your baby. Reddit does not.
• Focus on patterns, not dates. Is your baby developing gradually over time? That's what matters.
• Celebrate the little wins. Perhaps they're not crawling yet, but they are aglow when you walk into the room? That's a win.
• Protect your peace. There's nothing wrong with muting those groups obsessed with milestones for a time.

The Bottom Line: Trust Your Baby, Trust Yourself

(I'm not saying milestones don't matter)—they do, in context. But your baby's journey is his or her own, and comparing it to anyone else's is a sure way to drive yourself nuts. Take a breath, close the apps, and look at your baby — not through the lens of "what should they be doing" but through "what are they doing that's beautiful, funny, uniquely them?"

You're doing your best, and your baby is doing just great. 💪💗

Now pour yourself a glass of wine (or whatever your thing is); close those comparison tabs; and breathe. You've got this. 👊