Am I Feeding My Baby Wrong?

How Baby-Led Weaning Can Be Made Less Scary

There's a moment all new mothers experience, when it's time to move food from a jar to a spoon and onto the tray in front of a hungry baby, and she will look at that tray and wonder, Is this enough? It's more than whether the banana slice is too big or the carrots are soft enough — it's about you. On wishing so hard to get everything right that the joy of the feeding is eclipsed by terror. The fear that you're going to miss something, that your baby won't get the nutrients they need — or even worse, that something could go wrong. That measly tray of food is a test, and nobody handed you the answer key.

One thing I want you to know right now: you are not the only one who has this fear. In forums and late-night chats and tearful phone calls to friends, thousands of moms are quietly asking the same question, the question you hear when the gym is up and running and the supper's cooking and the baby's yet to spit up: Am I baby-led weaning wrong? Should I be doing it at all? Why does this feel so hard? The fact is, feeding your baby isn't only about feeding — it's about nurturing. And when you're constantly repeats in how high-stakes these questions are, your own powerful instincts can be lost. Let's sit down together, take a deep breath and allow ourselves the grace, power and permission to embark on this feeding journey with love, grace and confidence. You're learning, your baby is learning, and you don't have to do it perfectly to be the perfect mama for them."

The True Fear Behind Feeding: "What If I Do This Wrong?"

Feeding feels like one of the most fundamental things we should be able to do as mothers — and that's why the anxiety cuts so deep. It makes sense in our heads: we love our babies, so we feed them well. But when you're confronted with new terms like "baby-led weaning," choking hazards, iron levels, allergens and conflicting advice, suddenly something otherwise instinctual is fraught.

That fear of messing up? It's about more than food. It's how deeply you love your baby, and how you want to do right by them. That broccoli is not your concern; being enough is. And that's why I want to stop here and tell you: you are enough. Feeding does not even have to be good be powerful. Every bite, every messy experiment is an expression of love. There's nothing, not one "right way," to teach it.

What Baby-Led Weaning REALLY Is (and What It's Not!)

But let's set the pressure aside for a moment and talk about what baby-led weaning (BLW) is really about. At its core, BLW is nothing more than letting your baby explore solid foods at their own pace and feeding themselves when they are ready. No spoons necessary — unless you wish it so. It's not a competition, a list of boxes to check or a trend you need to embody to the hilt.

Here's what BLW is:

• A method to help your baby be independent and curious.
• An approach that allows babies to learn about textures, tastes, and hand-eye coordination.
• Versatile: custom fit with 3 waist settings and 2 leg settings that adjust for baby's growth.

And here's what BLW is not:

• A hard list of regulations to fail at.
• Expiration of the purees or traditional feeding, depending on what you prefer.
• Something that supplants your maternal intuition.

You are then free to mix approaches, experiment and tweak. It is not necessary to choose one's case. This is not a battle of wills, mother vs. child — this is you against your 6-year-old.

Baby-Led Weaning Isn't a Test — It's a Quest

We tend to treat baby-led weaning as a finish line to reach, but it's not a finish line, it's a process — a wonderfully messy one at that. Some babies love it right away, others take a while to warm up to it. Some gag a ton initially (it's totally normal), and some don't. Some days they'll consume every bite and some days they'll eat nothing. And all of it is okay.

The journey is one of exploration and not perfection. It's not your job to literally manage every bite that goes down but to provide, offer, support and observe." And as you make that discovery, trust starts to grow — not only in your baby, but in you.

Reassuring Tips to Quiet Anxiety and Gain Confidence

Let's appreciate some ordinary wisdom, because comfort comes not just in soothing words but in understanding what matters.

Start When It Feels Right

The guidelines recommend about 6 months, but readiness is not a date, it is an interplay of signs. Can your baby sit unassisted? Are they reaching for food? Do they show interest? That is your green light, not the calendar.

Safety First Brings Peace

Enroll in an infant CPR class, or look into videos that show you how to tell the difference between gagging and choking. For those first few meals, it makes those stuff/flap courses a little less scary. Dr. Machain explains that a calm energy is beneficial to your baby, too.

Offer One Food at a Time

You're not looking for fancy food. A slice of pickled carrot. A slice of ripe avocado. One food enables baby to concentrate, relieves overload, and make it simple to notice sensitivities quickly.

When First Starting Out, Texture Matters More Than Variety

Babies love textures. Concentrate on foods that they can gum and mash. Like steamed veggies, soft fruits and finger-cut chunks of food that they can grasp.

Normalize Mess — It Means They're Learning

Meals will be a mess, and that's a good thing. A mess is an indicator of exploration. Release the tidy tray dream and revel in the squish, smear and joy.

From the heart of one mama to another: You're doing so much better than you think

I've been there in that same chair, scrutinizing each bite, holding my breath as my little one cracked it. I have felt that panic bubble up when there was a gag, and the doubt creep in when she refused something I thought she'd love. But gradually I discovered something profound: she was being taught, and so was I.

You don't need to have every answer. You simply need love, patience and the knowledge that you are exactly who your baby wants. There is a power in meals, in moments, each one is a step — not a verdict on your motherhood. Let's hold onto that truth.

💛 Pass it onto a mama who needs to be told she's not alone.