Creating a Birth Plan

Starting the Conversation Early Encourage expectant parents to begin considering their birth preferences, discussing options with healthcare providers, and outlining a flexible plan.​

Your Birth, Your Way: Starting the Birth Plan Conversation Early

There's something beautifully surreal about being pregnant: you're walking through the world with one foot in the now and one foot in the future. Maybe you've just seen those two pink lines. Maybe you're starting to feel those first little flutters. Maybe you're already dreaming of what it will feel like to hold your baby skin to skin. Wherever you are on the timeline, it's never "too early" or "too late" to begin reflecting on your birth journey.

For many of us, the phrase birth plan can feel overwhelming, clinical, or even a little intimidating. We wonder, Do I need one? Will they even follow it? What if I don't know what I want yet? I want to pause right here and say this: Creating a birth plan isn't about scripting the perfect birth. It's about understanding what you need to feel safe, respected, and supported—emotionally, physically, spiritually. It's not about being rigid; it's about being rooted. And it starts with giving yourself permission to explore your preferences, your fears, and your hopes—gently and without pressure.

Why Start the Conversation Early?

Because you deserve time. Time to process, to gather information, to ask questions without urgency. Birth can be unpredictable—yes—but that doesn't mean preparation is pointless. In fact, starting early gives you the flexibility to approach your plan with curiosity instead of panic.

Beginning early also creates space for self-awareness. Think of this as a grounding exercise, not just a planning one. As you reflect on your preferences, you learn about yourself: your coping styles, your comfort zones, your boundaries. This is a powerful act of self-trust—and it lays the emotional foundation for birth, whatever shape it takes.

When you start early, you also give yourself a gift: room to revise. Maybe you'll change providers. Maybe you'll learn about new options. Maybe your third-trimester self will want different things than your first-trimester self. That's okay. That's human. A birth plan is a living document because you are a living, evolving person.

Where to Begin: Gentle Questions, Not Hard Answers

Instead of diving into a template right away, try beginning with reflection. Ask yourself:

• What does a peaceful birth environment look and feel like for me?
• How do I typically cope with pain or stress—and what support helps most?
• Who do I want to be there, and in what roles?
• What are my hopes for after birth—immediate bonding, feeding, and rest?

Write your answers down if that feels good. Or talk them out with a partner, a trusted friend, a doula, or your provider. There's no wrong way to start this process—as long as it feels true to you.

This is also the perfect time to learn about your options. For example:

• Do you want intermittent fetal monitoring so you can move more freely?
• Are you interested in laboring in water?
• What types of pain relief are offered, both medicated and non-medicated?
• What's your hospital or birthing center's policy on delayed cord clamping or uninterrupted skin-to-skin?

Asking these early means you won't be flooded with information when you're already navigating the intensity of labor. You get to come into those conversations informed, not overwhelmed.

Talk to Your Provider Early—and Revisit Often

Your care team should be more than medical experts—they should be partners in your vision. Schedule time during prenatal visits to ask specific questions about their approach to birth. Every provider and every facility has its own culture, policies, and flexibility level. The sooner you learn what's supported (or not), the more time you have to pivot if needed—or advocate for alternatives.

Bring up things like:

• Freedom of movement during labor
• Epidural timing and availability
• Support for unmedicated births
• Consent for routine procedures (like cervical checks or membrane sweeps)
• Post-birth care preferences for both you and baby

Pro tip: Don't be afraid to ask, "What are my options?" and "How often does that happen?" You deserve answers that make you feel empowered, not dismissed.

Creating a Plan That Reflects You

There's no one right format for a birth plan. It might be:

• A short bullet-point sheet you bring to the hospital
• A typed document with bold headers
• A visual birth preferences chart
• A letter you write to your birth team
• Even a note in your phone with your top three non-negotiables

What matters is that it reflects your values. A good birth plan centers your needs, not just your wants. It names your boundaries and your flexibility. It might include:

Before Labor:

• Preferred birthing location
• Who to contact when labor begins
• Any special cultural or spiritual rituals you'd like to observe

During Labor & Birth:

• Preferred pain management methods (massage, movement, epidural, etc.)
• People in the room and their roles
• Laboring positions you'd like to try
• Preferences for lighting, music, or quiet
• Wishes around vaginal checks or interventions

After Baby Arrives:

• Skin-to-skin contact and bonding
• Delayed cord clamping
• Feeding preferences (breastfeeding, formula, combo)
• Newborn procedures (bathing, eye ointment, vaccinations)

You don't need to include every detail—just the ones that matter most to you.

When Things Don't Go to Plan

Let's hold this truth gently: sometimes birth will surprise you. Maybe things move too fast to stick to your preferences. Maybe a medical need arises and the path shifts. That doesn't mean you failed or that your plan was a waste.

What your birth plan gives you—beyond logistics—is language. When things change, your team will already know what matters to you. They'll know how to speak to your values, not just your body. And you will be more grounded in who you are, even in the unknown.

A Love Letter to You, Mama

Making a birth plan is not just for the Type A moms or the home birth warriors. It's for you. The one who is growing a whole human, while also growing into a new version of herself.

This plan? It's a mirror. A reflection of your voice, your intuition, your hopes.

It says: I care about how I enter motherhood. I honor what I need. I trust that I matter, too.

So whether your birth is loud or soft, fast or slow, deeply medical or totally unmedicated—may it feel like yours.

You are not just preparing to give birth.

You are reclaiming your power, your agency, your wholeness.

Let your plan be a compass, not a cage. And remember: you're allowed to change your mind, every step of the way.

You are wise. You are ready. You are becoming.