Is It Normal to Feel Detached from My Pregnancy in the Second Trimester?

You're not alone, and nothing about you is broken

Pregnancy is frequently portrayed as a trail of joy, rosy skin and instant bonding with the inconceivably small life growing inside you. From the first moment you see those two pink lines, you might feel as though you should be overwhelmed by love, anticipation and an almost magical sense of attachment. But what if, even as your belly grows and all the excitement swirls around you, you don't feel that spark? What if, instead, you feel … disengaged? Detached? Maybe even numb? But if this is where you are right now — sitting quietly with your hand on your bump, wondering why you don't "feel pregnant enough" or why the connection you thought you'd have immediately hasn't come yet — I want to hold that space with you gently and remind you: This is more common than anyone talks about.

Emotional disconnect is not uncommon for expecting mothers, particularly in the second trimester. It can feel like a whirlwind, because so much is happening physically — your body is changing, your baby is changing — and yet your heart feels like it's just there, watching from the sidelines. This dissonance can trigger anxiety and guilt, albeit not when others appear so happily "in love" with their pregnancies. But I can assure you that this phase you're going through is not only normal — it's temporary, and it doesn't reflect at all on what kind of mother you are or will be. You are doing great, just as you are now.

The Unspoken Guilt That's Actually Silent

When you don't feel the way that you thought you would, there's a subtle but heavy guilt that hangs when everything should not feel overwhelmed by grief. Perhaps you've studied the books, tracked the apps, and imagined that week after week, your attachment to the baby would blossom with the same almost-certainly predictable linearity of your bump. But rather, you feel you're waiting for something to resonate — and it hasn't.

On so many online platforms, from Reddit to mom forums, this identical experience—often shared anonymously because women are scared to voice it—abounds:

"I'm in my second trimester and I don't feel connected yet. Does that make me a bad mom?"

The resounding answer? No.

Pregnancy is no less a mental and emotional transformation than it is a physical one. And if your body is marching forward on its biological timeline, your heart might still be trying to catch up. It's not that you don't care — you're human, with all of the layers and fears and protective instincts that attend major life changes.

Why the Disconnect Happens

Let's unpack why this disconnect occurs at all, even when everything seems to be moving along "normally."

The Baby Still Feels Abstract

By the second trimester, you may start to look pregnant but the idea of a baby still often feels unreal. You may have seen the ultrasound, heard the heartbeat — but your day-to-day life still is about work, relationships, routines. Baby is there, but not quite there there.

You'Re Unconsciously Defending Yourself

But if you've ever experienced loss yourself — or know a loved one who has — it's easy to remain emotionally distant as a means of self-preservation. That doesn't mean you're uncaring; it means your brain is trying to protect you from potential pain, even when things are going well.

Overwhelm Dulls Connection

The mental load of pregnancy is real, people. Doctor's appointments, planning, work, family dynamics — it's a lot. When you're feeling overwhelmed, it's more difficult to touch in with those tender, quiet feelings of connection. Not much room for anything superfluous when you are in survival mode.

All those doubly lazy weekends: You're Waiting for the "Magic Moment"

Some mothers hope for one revelatory moment — feeling the first kick, seeing the baby on the scan — that will magically unleash a torrent of deep love. But when that moment doesn't come, as dramatically as imagined, it's disorienting.

Gentle And Effortless Ways To Connect (With No Devices Or Pressure)

Connection isn't about big gestures — it unfolds in small, unassuming moments. If you want to bathe yourselves in that connection, here are some soft, no-pressure ways to invite it:

Narrate Your Day

Discuss everything and anything with your baby — the weather, your plans, your thoughts. It doesn't need to be poetic. Talking helps make baby more real in your head.

Create a Simple Ritual

Choose one small thing that you can do every single day or every week — rubbing lotion on your belly, cranking up a song you love, journaling a single sentence about your day. Rituals set a gentle rhythm and a place for connection to develop.

Let Yourself Be Witnessed

By all means say it out loud: "I don't feel bonded yet." Whether it's to a friend, your partner or a therapist, saying that can relieve pressure and pave the way for compassion. You should not have to carry this burden alone.

Visualize, If It Feels Right

If you close your eyes you can picture holding your baby. Try to make a guess what their laugh would sound like. Visualization can help focus on the future without necessitating that it feel immediate.

Trust the Process

Some parents just don't feel like they have made that connection until they hold the baby in their arms — and that's perfectly fine. You are on the right path and it is unfolding just as it should.

You are ok with a body that is not ever going to be a size six.

You may not feel it yet, but the connection between you and your baby is already growing, in ways you can't always see or measure. The love, the care, the thought — you carry it all, even when it feels far away. And that's what matters.

Release the pressure to feel one way by a certain time. Allow yourself just to exist in this moment, knowing that connection does not need to be loud or instantaneous in order to be real. You're already doing a ton of the work of motherhood, just by being there, day in and day out, with honesty and heart.

Remember:

"I can grow, learn, and evolve into love. I am enough, as I am."