Not Just a Birth Plan

Creating Your Birth Vision With Heart

I'll never forget sitting at my abuelita's table, folding laundry and sipping café de olla, when she asked me, "So, mija… how do you want to bring your baby into the world?" No charts. No checklists. Just a question from the heart, directly from hers to mine." That question stayed with me. Because while she hadn't put forth a batted-out birth plan on paper, she was teaching me the most important lesson: you're allowed to have preferences, and you deserve to be heard.

Fast forward to my own pregnancy, and I observed how easy it is to feel like just a cog in a medical process. So many first-time moms go into prenatal appointments unsure whether it's even appropriate to ask for something different — to say, "I'd rather do it this way" or "Can we discuss what this means for me?" Writing a birth plan isn't about plotting the perfect labor or ensuring one specific outcome. It's about giving yourself permission to express your needs, to safeguard your peace and to emotionally equip yourself for one of the most sacred rites of passage in your life. Whether you're delivering at a hospital, birth center or at home — it's making sure your voice is in the room.

Let's go through the process together — not just as a list of preferences, but as an important step toward emotional grounding, self-advocacy and family-centered care. This is like preparing your birth vision built on clarity, love, and trust that you are equipped.

What a Birth Plan Really Is (And Isn't)

There's a misconception that a birth plan is a list to check off, or even worse, something only "type-A" moms do. But ultimately, a birth plan is a conversation starter. It paves the way for an honest conversation with your provider, your partner and your support system. It enables you to declare your hopes, your concerns, your values — and encourages others to respect them.

At the same time, let's be honest: Birth does not always go according to plan. Babies have their own timing. Emergencies can happen. But that doesn't mean that your preferences aren't important. The process of reflecting and preparing makes it easier to pivot gracefully if things do shift. A good birth plan is flexible but purposeful. Consider it more a guidepost than a script.

Reflect Before You Research

Before opening up templates and TikToks, take a solitary moment with yourself. Light a candle. Put your hands on your belly. And ask:

• How does a peaceful birth feel like to me?
• What are my fears, and where do they originate?
• How do I want to feel in my birth environment?
• Is there cultural or spiritual traditions I want to add?
• What support do I feel cared and welcomed for?

These reminders are profound ones. You don't need medical jargon to begin — you just need honesty. When you listen in close to your values, your plan will start to come together from the inside out.

What Does a Birth Plan Include (with Cultural & Emotional Aspects)

It's not about following someone else's plan. This is not about how you want to give birth; it's about designing your birth so it honors who you are. Here are the most common sections, with extra heart and context for each.

🌿 Labor Environment

This is where you establish the vibe for your space. Would you like light dimmers, music from your culture played, a diffuser with lavender or eucalyptus? Maybe you want your mother holding your hand, or your partner whispering affirmations. Or perhaps you don't want anyone speaking except when needed.

Other things to think about:

• Would you like quiet during contractions or soft encouragement?
• Do you want pictures or video captured?
• Do you have a talisman — a piece of paper with a mantra on it, say, or a family heirloom, or a spiritual object of desire — that could be with you?

💡 Tip: If you're birthing in a hospital, ask ahead of time what's allowed in the room and what's not. That way, you can carry your own decorations as far as possible.

💪 Preferences for Pain Management

Pain management is not a one-size-fits-all decision. For some people, epidurals are empowering.) For the others, movement, water therapy or breathing techniques link them to their strength. Whatever you decide, let it be based on your body not someone else's experience.

Options to consider:

• Would you like to try non-medical pain relief methods first (birth ball, massaging, warm shower, etc.)?
• Do you want pain meds or an epidural later?
• Would you like to be consulted before any drugs are administered?

💬 Marisol's Wisdom: You have the power to change your mind at any moment. Room for evolution is baked into a good birth plan.

🤰🏽 Positioning & Mobility

Giving birth on your back is not the only way to do it — and usually the least comfortable. You may want to walk, squat, lean on your partner or labor in water. Think about what kinds of movements or positions make you feel empowered.

Questions to explore:

• Is free movement of body not permitted?
• Do you have props (like a peanut ball or birthing stool)?
• Do you want to use any of the gravity-friendly positions for pushing?

🌎 Cultural Note: Most traditional cultures favor upright birth positions. There's nothing "difficult" about asking for that — you're respecting ancestral wisdom.

👶🏽 Delivery Preferences

This is where your baby's first moments intersect with your heart's expectations.

You might consider:

• Do you want them to delay clamping the cord?
• Who will announce the baby's gender or cut the cord?
• Would you like immediate skin-to-skin?

And a big one:

• If a cesarean will be needed, what do you prefer in that event? (e.g., gentle c-section, music, clear drape, support person in attendance, etc.)

💬 Note — These moments are important. It's fine to have preferences — even for the details.

🧸 Postpartum Wishes

For many moms, postpartum seems to arrive at breakneck speed. It is where your birth plan can help you create a softer landing.

Include preferences like:

• Breast vs. formula (or a combination)?
• Would you like to see a lactation consultant prior to discharge?
• Visitors you'd like to restrict when visiting?
• Do you want your baby to room-in or be in the nursery for a while so you can get some rest?

And perhaps: Do you want to include cultural rituals like placenta burial, naming ceremonies or prayers?

How to Express Your Plan With Confidence

A plan doesn't do much good if people don't know what's in it.

• Take a close, one-page summary to your provider and for your hospital bag.
• Go over it with your OB or midwife in a prenatal visit.
• Give a copy to your birth partner, so they can advocate for you.
• Speak from your heart. It's perfectly fine to say, "This matters to me," even if it makes you nervous.

And remember: If your birth doesn't go to plan, that doesn't mean you failed. You adjusted — and that's no small thing.

A Last Word From My Heart to Yours

Our families, our ancestors, our cultures — all of us have stories of birth. Some joyful. Some painful. Some still snuggled into their quiet corners. But by naming your needs and honoring your voice, you are writing a new story — a story that centers you.

Your birth plan isn't just a piece of paper. It's a sacred act of care. A proclamation: "I deserve safety, dignity and love on this day."

So whether your birth goes just like you thought it would, or throws you a curve—you will soar. You will be held. And you will be transformed in all the right ways.

Con cariño,
Marisol