The Real Deal on Counting Kicks

(or How I Became Fixated on My Baby's Every Move)

Now, let me explain the circumstances: 33 weeks pregnant; bloated; craving something nonexistent in my fridge; suddenly realizing I hadn't felt my baby move all afternoon. Cue instant panic. I lay there, poked at my belly like it owed me money, and when nothing happened? Yeah, I spiraled. I went immediately from "I'm sure they're just napping" to "I have to call my ob/gyn at 9pm and ask if I need to go to the ER." Been there? Because same. No one really tells you how intense it can feel for suddenly having to be in charge of counting every little kick, roll or jab your baby flings your way.

And to tell you the truth, I didn't know how to do it at first. Counting kicks seemed like one of those "extra" things that pregnant women should do but don't really need to. But here's the thing—it's not only an adorable bonding thing (though it can be); it's a key tool for monitoring your baby's welfare in the third trimester. When I figured out how to do it without going insane—and what to really search for—it became something that made me feel so much more in control. So if, like me, you are in that same "wtf is going on in there? headspace, let's go over why counting kicks is important, how to do it, and when to call up and say, "Yeah, I could use a little help here."

What's the Big Deal About Kick Counting?

Here's why doctors and midwives love this: your baby's movements are one of the best indicators there that everything's all right. As your baby gets older, they fall into their own little rhythm—almost like their own dance party schedule. When that rhythm shifts dramatically, it can sometimes (not always, so don't freak) be a sign they're not doing as well in there.

Kick counting allows you to identify those changes. You're not just sitting around waiting for a kick and saying, 'All right, that's good enough' — you're listening in to what your baby's rhythm is. Most providers suggest starting this by 28 weeks, and by 32-34 weeks or so, you'll pretty much know when your baby gets hype (for me, it was roughly 9pm every night like clockwork).

How to Count Kicks Without Losing Your Mind

So here is what actually worked for me (after two years of trying all the apps, snacks and tricks).

Step-by-Step:

1. Choose a Time When Your Baby Is Usually Active
   After meals? Bedtime? Find their jam.
2. Get Comfortable
   Either lie on your left side or recline with your feet up.
3. Minimize distractions (I was 90% of the time the opposite but you should always aim high, right?)
4. Start Counting
   You're counting 10 movements — kicks, rolls, jabs, flutters.
   If it takes between 30 minutes to a couple of hours, then it will do. If your LO hits 10 quickly? You're good!
5. Track It
   I plugged it into my Notes app — 'cause downloading another tracker was not it for me.

Lexi's Real Talk Kick Count Tips:

• Food = Movement: Give them a snack or something cold to eat and they will be grooving.
• Know Their Normal: My infant would be very chill most of the day but throw a rave at night.
• Don't Stress Over One Lazy Day: But listen to your gut. If it feels off, call.

Things I Tried Before Breaking Down (And What Saved Me):

• 🍩 Eating donuts to "wake them up" (delicious, 10/10, would recommend)
• 📲 Downloading 3 kick count apps, deleting 2, forgetting to use the last one.
• 💤 Kicking butt then waiting too long, panicking at midnight when they were obviously just napping.
• 😭 Crying in the bathroom thinking there was something wrong — but they were fine.

When to Contact Your Provider (Without Apologizing)

You are not being annoying. You are not overreacting. Here's when you need to call:

• Getting 10 movements takes more than 2 hours.
• Baby's rhythm snap changes suddenly and in a big way.
• You have an awkward sense that something is wrong.

Call. Always. You know your body, and nobody's going to fault you for checking in.

Why This Matters More Than You May Realize

I know it seems like just one more thing on your list — but kick counts save lives. It's a tangible way to spot early signs of trouble and to get assistance when it's most needed. And honestly? After some persistence, I started out getting used to doing them, and it became kind of a ritual. A little, quiet moment of me and this tiny human together rolling around reminding me they were there, and that they were ok.'

Conclusion (Plus Snacks are the Real MVP)

Counting kicks isn't about doing it perfectly. Some days you're going to kill it, other days you won't remember until your head hits the pillow. That's okay. What's important is being tuned in enough to recognize what's normal for your baby. And if something feels off? Say something. You're doing your best — and that's more than enough, believe me.

And, yes, if you've wept over this, you're not alone. We got this, mama 💥💕