Creating a Birth Plan That Feels Like You

A Centered Approach to Labor & Delivery

There's a moment in every pregnancy—sometimes quiet, sometimes swirling with emotion—when you realize: this birth is yours to shape. Not to control, but to intentionally envision. A birth plan becomes the space where that vision is held. It's a reflection of your voice, your values, and your needs in one of the most vulnerable and powerful experiences you'll ever walk through.

Many people think of birth plans as rigid checklists. But I want to reframe that for you. A birth plan is not about scripting the entire process—it's about clarity. It invites you to consider: What helps me feel safe? What kind of support do I want? What choices feel aligned with my body, my baby, and my beliefs? These reflections help you walk into your birth space with presence, not pressure. With preparation, not perfection.

🌿 What Is a Birth Plan Really For?

At its core, a birth plan is a communication tool. It helps you express your preferences and boundaries to your provider and birth team before labor begins. It also helps you and your partner or support person align on expectations, advocate for your needs, and reduce decision fatigue during labor.

It doesn't guarantee a specific outcome—but it offers intention. And when birth gets unpredictable (as it sometimes does), having a plan means you can pivot with purpose, not panic.

Think of it like a compass. You may not know exactly what turns labor will take, but your birth plan keeps you oriented toward what matters most.

🌀 What to Include in Your Birth Plan

Your birth plan can be as short as one page or as detailed as you like. Some parents prefer visual icons or bullet points; others use paragraph-style formats. Either way, it should be:

• Simple to read
• Clear in tone
• Focused on your values

Let's walk through each area to consider:

1. Labor Environment

Your setting shapes your energy. Get clear on the external environment that helps you feel calm and empowered.

• Preferred birth location (hospital, birthing center, home)
• People present (partner, doula, friend, family)
• Lighting preferences (dimmed lights, natural light, candles if at home)
• Sounds (music, silence, affirmations, nature sounds)
• Aromatherapy (lavender, peppermint—only if allowed in facility)
• Clothing preferences (hospital gown vs. your own robe or labor wear)
• Use of birthing aids (yoga ball, rebozo, birthing tub, peanut ball)

2. Pain Management Preferences

Pain relief is not all or nothing. You can change your mind at any time—but outlining what you're open to can help guide care.

Non-medical options:

• Breathing techniques (e.g., patterned or hypnobirthing)
• Movement and position changes
• Hydrotherapy (showers, birthing tubs)
• Counterpressure, massage, or TENS unit
• Visualization, mantras, or affirmations

Medical options:

• IV pain medications
• Nitrous oxide ("laughing gas")
• Epidural anesthesia
• Spinal block or C-section anesthesia (if applicable)

Tip: Indicate whether you want to wait before being offered medications, or if you'd like to know what's available upfront.

3. Monitoring & Interventions

This section helps clarify your comfort level with routine procedures and how much you want to be consulted before they're done.

• Intermittent vs. continuous fetal monitoring
• Vaginal exams (frequency, consent each time)
• Use of Pitocin (to induce or augment labor)
• Artificial rupture of membranes (breaking your water)
• Episiotomy vs. allowing natural tearing
• Vacuum/forceps assistance (only if medically necessary?)

You might also want to add:

• 🌀 "I would like all procedures explained before they're performed."
• 🌀 "I prefer to try natural methods first before moving to medical interventions."

4. Pushing & Delivery Preferences

This is where your preparation and your provider's protocols may intersect. Use this section to express how you'd like to birth if things are progressing normally.

• Preferred pushing positions (side-lying, hands-and-knees, squatting, using a bar)
• Coaching style (being told when to push vs. following your body's lead)
• Mirror or touch to assist with pushing
• Partner assisting with catching the baby (if allowed)
• Delayed cord clamping (1–3 minutes or until cord stops pulsing)
• Cord cutting preferences (partner, yourself, provider)

5. Postpartum & Newborn Care

The golden hour after birth is sacred. Use this section to outline how you'd like that time honored—for you and your baby.

• Immediate skin-to-skin contact (before weighing/cleaning)
• Delay newborn procedures (weighing, shots) until after bonding
• Breast/chestfeeding initiation support
• Formula supplementation preferences (only if medically necessary? okay to offer?)
• Newborn procedures (Vitamin K shot, Hepatitis B, eye ointment)
• Bathing baby (immediate, delayed, or done at home)
• Rooming-in vs. nursery time
• Circumcision plans (if applicable)

💬 How to Communicate Your Birth Plan Clearly

Writing your plan is only half the process. The real magic happens when it becomes a bridge between you and your care team.

Here's how to bring it into the conversation:

✨ Start Early

Bring a draft to your 32–34 week prenatal appointment. Ask for feedback and hear what's standard at your birth location—some things may already align with your wishes.

✨ Be Collaborative

Use phrases like:

• 🌀 "I would prefer…"
• 🌀 "It's important to me that…"
• 🌀 "I'd love to avoid ___ if possible."

This invites mutual respect and flexibility, rather than creating an oppositional tone.

✨ Empower Your Support Person

Make sure your partner, doula, or friend knows your plan well and is comfortable speaking up for you if you're unable or focused inward during labor.

✨ Print a Copy (or Two)

Bring at least two copies—one for the provider, one for your chart. You can even tape a mini version to your hospital bag or birth room wall.

🌬️ Grounding Reminder: You Can Prepare and Flow

Take a deep breath right now—inhale fully through your nose, exhale through your mouth.

This plan is your anchor, not your cage.

You can prepare your heart, your mind, and your body—and still release the need to control every outcome. The goal isn't to check every box. It's to feel seen, heard, and supported as you bring life into the world.

You are allowed to ask for what you need. You are allowed to change your mind. And you are allowed to lead this experience with your whole, intuitive self.

✨ Takeaway: Your birth plan isn't just a document—it's a reflection of your voice. Let it be rooted in trust, shaped by love, and flexible enough to hold the unknown with grace.