The Myth of the "Honeymoon Trimester"

When the second trimester fails to be easy — and what to do if yours just … isn't

Soooooo… where is my magical second trimester glow?

I recall reaching week 14 like I had crossed the finish line of a relentless human obstacle course. First trimester? Checked. I survived the pregnancy fatigue — the kind that feels like being hit by a truck — and the nausea between the hours of 7 a.m. and 9 p.m. (Who decided to call it "morning" sickness anyway?) Every article, every app and even that random aunt during a baby shower said the same: Just wait until the second trimester — things do get better. I was waiting for this so-called "honeymoon phase" to roll in and save the day.

Instead? My nausea had been downgraded from "constant" to "random and personally insulting." My migraines arrived like unwanted guests. I was so exhausted, I was thinking of charging my toddler rent for using my limbs as a jungle gym. And the kicker? I began receiving those "you must be doing so much better now!" texts. What they weren't doing was trying to gaslight people. If your second trimester hasn't been a nonstop parade of rainbows and radiant selfies, either, pull up a pregnancy pillow, friend. You're not broken. You're not alone. You're just experiencing the unfiltered nature of this middle phase — and it deserves a whole lot more honesty.

What won't happen in Trimester 2:

Let's just review what we were sold, shall we?

• You will return to full power as your energy comes roaring back
• Goodbye nausea like magic ✨
• You'll have a "glow" and feel sexy again (lol sure)
• You can exercise, embark on adventures, set up a cozy home, and take the world by storm all before baby even arrives

And for some mamas? That's legit. If that's you, good for you, we love that for you. But for the rest of us? Second trimester is more like: "Still tired, still snacky, now with 20% more pelvic discomfort."

Why the second trimester may not be a honeymoon

Those hormones are still being little chaos gremlins

Sure, hCG begins to plummet, which can relieve nausea. But estrogen and progesterone are still on the rise —and they can play havoc with your mood, digestion, sleep and skin. And don't even get me started on relaxin, the hormone that turns your joints into floppier than a toddler on roller skates. What's up: Fun fact: that's why your back might suddenly hurt doing nothing.

New trimester, new symptoms

Your baby is growing, your uterus is stretching, and your body is working harder behind the scenes than a wedding planner. That means:

• Round ligament pain (a.k.a. lightning bolt in your groin)
• Headaches and stuffiness (yes, "pregnancy rhinitis" is a thing and is considered rude)
• Strange dreams and insomnia (because of course we don't require sleep?)
• Dry eyes, itchy skin, dizziness … it's a mystery box of symptoms.

You're stuck in the "in-between" zone

You may not yet look super pregnant, but your body is certainly doing the work. It might feel like you're caught between the crisis of the first trimester and the "almost there" momentum of the third. You're acclimating to changes, physically, mentally, and emotionally — but not getting much credit for it.

Good morning, real talk: This is when I noted that glowing is actually sweating while anxious

Allow me to take you through one moment of my experience: I was at the grocery store, in the produce section, trying to determine whether grapes still made me gag, when I was hit with a wave of fatigue so sudden I had to lean on the cart and breathe like I was in early labor. That was Week 17. My "glow" that day? A forehead plastered in anxiety sweat and an erratic chin breakout. Cute.

I wanted to be feeling better by then so badly. I wanted to be one of those second trimester moms doing prenatal yoga and munching on dates like it was a lifestyle. Instead, I was Googling "Is it normal to still be repulsed by the smell of soap?"

Stuff I attempted before sobbing (and to be quite honest, it helped a little)

Here's what helped me get through the midpregnancy slump (beyond sending dramatic texts to my best friend and keeping snacks in every room):

• Snacks every hour and a half, no debate (elite: pretzels and peanut butter)
• Hydration with personality — lemon water, coconut water, herbal teas, anything that didn't induce gagging
• Cooling gel eye masks for headaches and "I cried at 2am again" face
• Aromatherapy (peppermint for nausea; lavender for sanity)
• Liking TikToks of other pregnant moms struggling — because if I'm suffering, at least I'm suffering with other people

Not connecting with your second trimester? Here's your permission slip

You don't have to feel great right now. You don't have to be "making the most of it." You are allowed to say, "This is actually really hard." Because there's no clean way to grow a human, and how and when you feel "better" is neither. No trimester is obliged to give you a break. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't give yourself one.

Try:

• Lower the bar — you don't need to deep-clean the nursery today
• Opting for naps instead of chores — the laundry will still be there
• Begging for help — I know it sounds awkward, but vulnerability = strength, not weakness
• Avoid content that breeds comparison – curated pregnancy journeys are not real life

One last note: from one exhausted-but-honest mama to another:

If you don't find your second trimester to be restful vacation, you're not doing it wrong. You're simply living in the real thing — in which beautiful, brutal, boring and bizarre can all cohabitate in the same day.

Take the pressure off. Trust your body. And what if all you did all day was feed yourself and lie down when you needed to?

You nailed it.

We got this.